A Mad Reed Security Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas
hen all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
not even a mouse
Because Daddy set out traps to catch those f^@kers
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that grenades would soon be in there
The children were nestled, all snug in their beds
While visions of weapons danced in their heads
And Mama in her nightie and I in my boxers
Had just settled down for a fun night together
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to grab my Sig Sauer
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Covered my junk and threw Mama her pants...